Introduction
It is important that children learn how to behave and control their own behaviour as they get older. Parents have a very important job as a role model for their children in helping them learn how to do this.
Teaching children from a young age by setting limits and explaining reasons for these limits helps to instil self-discipline. Smacking, which controls your child from the outside, has no long-lasting positive effect. In fact smacking usually has to increase in severity in order to have the same impact on your growing child. This is where the thin line between smacking and hitting can be crossed.
Have you ever smacked your child? The answer from many parents reading this will be 'yes'. Every parent experiences frustration with his or her child at various times. It is at these times that a parent may smack in the heat of the moment but this is an outlet for the parent's frustration rather than a helpful way of influencing the child's behaviour.
However, simply because lots of people may have smacked their children does not mean it is the best way to punish your child or ensure good behaviour. Those who say smacking is acceptable have argued that it is not harmful in the long term and is the most immediate form of discipline. It is much more helpful and safer to notice and reward your child's positive behaviours to encourage the behaviours you want.
The numbers of parents who smack their children is decreasing and lots of those who continue often do so because they are not sure that other methods will work.
In this society parents are not allowed to physically harm their children regardless of any individual, cultural or religious justification. As a result, child protection professionals will assess incidents of physical ill treatment of children, in order that they can understand, prevent and explain the consequences of further incidents.
In summary
- Smacking does not teach self-discipline. Make it a general rule not to smack your child. Use other ways to discipline, set clear limits and explain them, be firm and consistent
- Smacking gives attention to a child's bad behaviour. Tell your child they have crossed the boundaries or broken the family rules. Use your tone of voice and facial expressions to help them understand. Explain your reasons why
- Children learn best by attention to things they do well. Praise and reward your child's good behaviour. Smacking teaches children to hurt others
- When self-discipline is taught, smacking becomes unnecessary
For further information and advice visit the 'Other websites' section on this page.
Also ask your local health visitor or GP. To find your nearest GP or health visitor visit NHS Direct in the 'Other websites' section on this page.
Helpline telephone numbers
Barnardo's: 01268 520224
NSPCC: 0808 800 5000
Parentline Plus: 0808 800 2222